(no subject)

sometimes i feel like there isn't much that i care about anymore.


brand new, "sowing season (yeah)"

Was losing all my friends.
Was losing them to drinking and to driving.
Was losing all my friends, but I got them back.

I am on the mend.
At least now I can say that I am trying.
And I hope you will forget things I still lack.

Yeah. Yeah.

Is it in you now,
To barely hear the truth that you have spoken?
Twisted up by knaves,
To make a trap for fools.

Is it in you now,
To watch the things you gave your life to broken?
And stoop and build them up with warn out tools.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.

Nothing gets so bad,
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it.
Your whisper's like a bridge, he's a river span.

Take all that you have,
And turn it into something you were missing.
Somebody threw that brick, shattered all your plans.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground.
It takes a while to grow anything,
Before it's coming to the end, yeah.

Before you put my body in the cold ground,
Take some time to warm it with your hand,
Before it's coming to an end, yeah.

It's coming to an end, yeah.
It's coming to an end, yeah.

Do you miss the blend,
Colors she left in your black and white field?
Do you feel condemned just being there?

I am not your friend.
I am just a man who knows how to feel.

I am not your friend.
I'm not your lover.
I'm not your family.

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. (Oh.)
Yeah.

Time to get the seeds into the cold ground.
It takes a while to grow anything,
Before it's coming to the end, yeah.

i don't even know.

(no subject)

pete's writing always always always amazes me.

Sunday, December 03, 2006
a penny for your thoughts

im sensing some antidote in the way the world has been speaking to me.
but im all heart with these fingers stuck in my ears-
playing scenes from my childhood so loud that i cant hear whats happened to me.
you cant fly these wings, you cant sleep in this box with me.
somewhere theres a backroom for us to be swapping spit in. a ditch for me to be forgotten again.
"there are plenty of fish in the sea" quip pretty fisherman on boats in stocked lakes and fish farms.
do you think about me when you see the moon in the afternoon?
"shape up or ship out"
im nailed and boarded up in a box addressed to somewhere else.
of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel- i will make you forget your head
and your rules
and your friends
and your faith
we are bricks on gas pedals.
we are the ink on forged checks.
i will make you mine and then forget you.
my head is too crowded for the company.
can we go back to how it was?
before there was a world out the front door that got off on being down.
stockpiled good fortune and am ready to wait out the storm.
i want you in my after 12am veins.
lately it all just feels like looking up through ice in a frozen pond at red cheeked families skating, carefree.
to be honest, even though im nodding off in airport lounges-
id rather lay my head on a curb somewhere with you than any of the rest of it.
and the universe doesnt care about luck or headlines.
someone whispered "make yourself" in my ear once.
steal me away from all of this.
make yourself.

posted by xo @ 4:28 PM


Sunday, December 03, 2006
status

yesterday i fell backwards through a window- sure it was sugarglass and light wood.
still felt the nerves slip.
been sleeping 3 hour nights.
i love watching people sing and speak and write about the people and things that they love.
it makes me feel regular again.
gave up on love when i started seeing about it in gossip rags.
gave up on god when i realized one day my father was gonna die.
gave up on myself too many times to count- you could trade mistakes for sheep
and count me away forever at night.
thanks for never giving up on me.
even when you truly should have.
and most of our incoherrent thought is wasted on whether it will mean more to stay or to go. if we can get home before the light hits our bedroom.

posted by xo @ 2:52 AM

there isn't much i wouldn't do for him.