(no subject)

ramble/squee about pete. because i feel awkward being THIS obsessive in my regular journal. (some of this will probably make it there, though.)


exercpts from this interview with pete:

I like the spotlight, but I only like it when I’m in control of and when I feel I’m out of control of it, I hate it so bad. [...] I have a Type A personality; I like to be in control.

um. i just *bet*. ::cough::. it's like a giant sign from the universe that i'm supposed to be writing pete/mikey with mikey in handcuffs and pete "in control." ;)

Me and Patrick are like each other’s hot and cold. When I’m on, he’s off and when he’s on I’m off. We fight all the time! It could be either me or him. I can be the big mouth and he can be really quiet but it flips around, it’s him usually but it comes back to me. Me and Patrick hang out all the time – it’s strange we’re like each others heterosexual soulmates!

except not so much with the hetero part. ;)

i bolded stuff that was originally unbolded.


i've been looking up stuff on arma angelus, because i'm obsessive. found soundclips at allmusic.com and music.yahoo.com. i think i might just have to buy their cd. (if i can get over the "what kind of obsessive freak AM i?" feeling.) i LIKE heavy music, and not enough people know that about me.

as i wrote last night:
you know what's weird?
listening to arma angelus and thinking, "hey, pretty good hardcore."
and then reminding yourself - those screamy/scary vocals? that's *pete*.
and not knowing whether to be amused or really fucking impressed.

mostly impressed. i think i'm kind of in love with pete's voice. a lot.


and if you were thinking that his depressed/emo state was a new phenomenon, i'm here to tell you that isn't the case. just read some of his arma angelus lyrics (which, by the way, are very obviously written by pete. his style is pretty distinctive or i'm just really obsessed.

exercpts from songs on "Where Sleeplessness Is Rest From Nightmares":

This masquerade becomes our flesh.
There is no happily ever after, in the end.
There is no cure.
I can't get you out of my head.
I sink and drown as fairy tales end.
We are the pale horse wrapped in flesh.
We are the pale horse, afflicted again and again.
--We Are The Pale Horse

I'm dying for anyone to understand.
One word will spark violence but all I want is comfort.
So I rest my belief in hate to become warm again.
By hatred, by belief, I will find rest.
--For The Expatriates Of Human Civilization

To the saviors who betray me with every breath,
who sell themselves at every turn as they sink beneath contempt.
They let her rot. I'd love to claw out your heart, to deny you the breath.
--Misanthrope

The last time we spoke she spit only warm blades and open bombs.
Now this ink is running through my veins,
so shut the fuck up and try to understand these words
no breath could ever hope to carry.
--Cold Pillows And Warm Blades

Nothing ever changes, but I still want no part in this.
Spite brings me such peace and suffering will save me.
I can't escape this world, but I will deny it.
And yet to these smiling husks I am just a fool,
but I can no longer find the warmth to forgive those
who bear such a likeness to smoldering ash that was once their will.
--I'm Every Broken Man

what i love about pete is how cheerful and uplifting his lyrics are. ::eyeroll::.


this boy is so beyond fucked-up. it just - i've said it before, but it amazes me he's still FUNCTIONING. and everything i learn about him - he's so complex, and so, just - anyone else would've become a little gibbering ball of nonsense by now. not to mention - i still agree w/what nic said, that he's an undiagnosed *something*. schizophrenic, quite possibly. 'cause simple depression or bi-polar doesn't result in the mood changes, and the wanting to be a hermit, and the not talking to his friends, and the od on sleeping meds, and the crazy-brilliant-incoherent writing, and yeah. (nic and i talked about the writing, too. the switching pov, and switching between different parts of a story, or switching stories entirely mid-thought. brilliant, yes. hard to follow, yes. definitely NOT something your everyday normal person could come up with.)

sometimes i feel guilty, thinking pete's schizophrenic or whatever. when i watch interviews where he's all happy and laughing, i think i'm reading too much into things, and he's just an everyday guy, smart but a little depressed, that's all.
but then i read some of his journal entries, or lyrics, or quotes from him or whatever, and i *know* he's not some average guy that can be fixed with prozac.

i'm going to sound like some obsessed fall out boy fan here, but pete's going to be important to our (my) generation. i can feel it.